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Joke of the Day

"""Hey! You took my daughter's virginity!"" ""Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."""

"Mother: I raised you both as a mother and a father. Son: Go fuck your self."

"I'm smart but not ""know when to stop eating"" smart."

"Have you heard about that new movie, ""The Homophobic Preacher""? Hasn't come out yet."

"How do you know if your friend, ""Doesn't even OWN a TV?"" Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. ""Did you hear about the President's new policy on...?"" ""I don't even OWN a TV!"""

"Did you hear the one about Sandusky at the beach? A father walked up to him and said, ""get out of my sun!"""

"Why do Steven Avery's victims see him naked from the waist down? Because his lawyers keep filing away his briefs."

"A North Korean man announce yesterday that his Dog gave birth to a 1/2 Dog 1/2 Cat offspring! Also referred to in Korea as the #2 ""Combo""!!!"

"My husband told me he'd like to be woken up by a blowjob... ...so I put my dick in his mouth to wake him up."

"You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts."