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Joke of the Day

"Him: Mm girl, back that ass up. Me: Like on iCloud or something?"

"[cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*"

"Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding."

"Don't let the notion of being bad at something keep you from enjoying it Ask my wife."

"Helping my daughter study for her geology exam, and apparently 'hard' 'classic' and 'punk' AREN'T the 3 different types of rock. Who knew."

"What did Ahab yell out to Moby Dick as it swam away? Catch you later!"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. ............. JK rolling!"

"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""

"Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 10000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution."

"I hadn't seen it in a while, but at a concert last night I saw someone using a disposable camera... It gave me a flashback"