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Joke of the Day

"There's Only One Thing I hate More Than a Litterbug... ...having a dirty car."

"What's the difference between a Toaster and Hitler? A toaster can only burn two things at once."

"Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM? Because he charges!"

"[after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy"

"i don't always add and multiply, just sum times"

"Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be bagels"

"So Dolly Parton bought the supermarket franchises Big Lots, Harris Teeters, and Piggly Wiggly... She's calling it Big Wiggly Teeters."

"The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn."

"My ex girlfriend kept stuffed animals all over her bed. It really killed the mood... ...because she was a taxidermist."

"Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice"