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Joke of the Day

"My pet deer was addicted to painkillers after surgery so I tried to send her to rehab..... .... but I didn't have the doe"

"A man with one leg shorter than the other visits the tower of Pisa. He says ""It looks fine to me."""

"BEAUTY TIP: avoid unsightly wrinkles by being a sociopath who is incapable of feeling genuine emotions"

"Q: If a man's signature is called a John Hancock, what do you call a woman's? A: Historically insignificant."

"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""

"If I had no emotions, I don't know how I'd feel about it."

"Note to younger women: Remember, men are always after just one thing: your snacks. Do not leave the refrigerator unlocked."

"With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior."

"If this gets 1000 upvotes, my wife and I will try anal... Please don't, her strap on is huge"

"I think it's time I throw away my fleshlight My masturbation is getting a little out of hand."