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Joke of the Day

"What is the similarity between Disney World and a woman? They both make you wait 2 hours for a 30 second ride!"

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"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants"
"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."
"My brother forgot his apple today. Until he was rear-ended by a doctor."
"Swallow it dammit, it's good for you Your Pride"
"Durex's ""Eggplant Flavoured"" condom won't be the first time a woman's being pleasured by a vegetable. Just ask Mrs. Stephen Hawking."
"I was considering getting a sex-change... But I lost my tran of thought."
"discontinue use and talk to your doctor if you experience death, as this may be a sign of a more serious condition."
"HR: You know why we called you down? Me:Hm. Promotion? HR: You know we monitor internet usage right? Me: I'd like to reporting a hacking."
"My girlfriend and I played footsie at the family table and I climaxed. Turns out it was her grandma. I guess I got off on the wrong foot."