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Joke of the Day

"Me: I want a hot body. Me: Does absolutely nothing to achieve this."

"The stock market is astrology for people who think they're too good for astrology."

"Every time I go for a Jog I get hit by the same bike It's a vicious cycle"

"I put a sock on my doorknob To let people know I'm getting busy with another sock."

"A woman went to get implants in her butt However, her butt was instead injected with cement. I guess you could say she hit rock bottom"

"Anthropic principle: the universe must be as it is in order for us to perceive it Anthropomorphic principle: look, I'm a talking principle!"

"What do you have when there's balls on your chest? Chestnuts What do you have when there's balls on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants. Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants."

"Why did the IT Admin marry Sally? She had a 19"" rack."

"Whats worse than eating 10 oysters out of your girlfriends vagina? Realising you only put 9 in"