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Joke of the Day

"I think RoastMe should be renamed... to DaisExMachina."

"Remember to keep the 'inmate' in 'intimate' by getting married."

"right now mitt romney is trying to put an entire loaf of bread in his mouth"

"My computer is going very very ... FAST. IT Helpdesk joke"

"A judge recently prosecuted a woman for flashing a man to get ""new ink done"" It was a case of tit for tat"

"Saw these ducks in the park today looking at their reflection in the water practicing their teenage slut face."

"I could never be on a reality show because I wouldn't want my mom to see the faces I make when I talk to her on the phone."

"I'm making a graph of my past relationships. I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis."

"I accidentally caught my nuts in a barbed wire fence and now I'm the frontman of a Maroon 5 cover band."

"If you ask a lot of questions and then rob the cab driver, every cab becomes a cash cab."