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Joke of the Day

"David had his ID stolen yesterday... So we call him Dav now."

"What it sounds like when you pee in the woods with a shy bladder *crickets"

"Why were the camels wearing sandals? To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand? To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on."

"Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag."

"I love Al Pacino. But it's his brother Cap that really gets me going."

"My wife suggested I get one of those penis enlargers... ... So, I did. She's 21 and her name is Megan. PS: Even though the joke is in first person, nobody told me to get a penis enlarger."

"I gave away all of my dead batteries Free of charge."

"My Girlfriend is Like the square root of -100 A perfect ten, but completely imaginary."

"Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and end up in the hole."

"You are so sweet... ...is your zodiac sign caries?"