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Joke of the Day

"I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me."

"I tried making a belt that had a watch for a buckle ... it was a waist of time."

"Coffee is the silent victim in our house. It gets mugged everyday"

"I Am Not A Lawyer I ANAL."

"Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you're talking about. - ""That's exactly what ignorant means."" I don't get it."

"Do you know why computer parts are not expensive? Because they are micro-cheap."

"TIFU by buying a PT Cruiser"

"I believe every child should be given a chance... ...and that's why if they can guess the number I'm thinking of, I'll let them go..."

"Either my shirt shrunk in the wash or, a more likely reason, those four push-ups per day have made me a BEAST."

"That's it, I'm done dating comedians... I don't want to get lol'd into a false sense of security again."