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Joke of the Day

"What ringtone have you got? Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"

"Was kicked out of Walmart today. When I walked in I saw a ""Wet Floor"" sign. So I did."

"I think there are female hormones in beer Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive."

"What do you call a waterfall which causes erections? Viagra Falls"

"When I'm about to die and my life flashes before my eyes I'm worried that a lot of it will just be Facebook and TV."

"A major yet unspoken difference between medieval times and now is... These days, if someone owns a sword, it's a pretty safe bet you can kick their ass."

"I don't like to go to funerals I'm just not a mourning person."

"so a cheetah and a lion decide to have a race The cheetah wins and the lion says ""you're a Cheetah"" the Cheetah says 'nah you're Lion'"

"Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark"

"As a farmer I've heard lots of jokes about sheep. I told them to my dog but he'd heard them all."