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Joke of the Day
"I had a dream I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram I was - like - 0MG."
Next Joke
"Give a man a fish... ...and feed him for a day. Give a man to a fish, and feed it for like months."
"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"
"OK, so they have GPS that can navigate you all the way across the country...why can't someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?"
"""I maul out of love"" - Bear Supply"
"Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don't they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?"
"""Go ahead, caller...."" ""Mom, you have to stop answering your phone that way."""
"If con is the opposite of pro ... then is Congress the opposite of progress?"
"I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.. But when I got home, all the signs were there."
"A hipster so cool he is reading a tree"