133446

Joke of the Day

"You may recognize me from such films as: HR surveillance footage 11/13/12 HR surveillance footage 01/22/13 HR surveillance footage 02/28/13"

"Which group of people are the best at jazz? The Saxons!"

"Oldest boy band in the world One erection"

"Just finished reading the Declaration of Independence to my kids, and they went to live with their dad"

"""SURPRISE!!!!"" - Every girl with drawn-on eyebrows."

"Did you hear about the idiot who filled out an employment application? In the blank labeled ""Church Preference"" he filled in: Red brick."

"How does Times Square start the new year? By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! ""The audience can sing this one."""

"What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston? My car can hit 50."

"[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma."

"I need a new bad decision."