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Joke of the Day

"Making reservations for one at a fancy restaurant because every now and then, I like to be wined and dined before I take advantage of myself"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again"

"Why don't women need umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen."

"How did I get the balls to write such a grotesque joke? Gruesome."

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year!"

"How many Heros does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All, to save this world from the darkness."

"PATIENT: I've been so stressed out lately. What can I do? DR DOG (tail wagging like crazy): Studies show that petting dogs relieve stress"

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped."

"A lion wouldn't cheat at golf... But a tiger woods"

"What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy? A 500 bill."