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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order? Because it broke down and he couldn't budget."

"Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car."

"Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. -Oscar Levant."

"What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef strokinoff!"

"My grandma accidentally swallowed a fly. Feeding her a spider now..."

"What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat"

"What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's pop corn?"

"How do you like your eggs? Over here"

"I saw a badass preview for a new movie coming out! It said it was called ""U.S. Marines"""

"Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, ""Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"""