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Joke of the Day

"i saw this homeless guy talking to himself and i was like, ""who is he talking to?"" then i thought ""who am I talking to?"""

"*pulls back your shower curtain* What did you mean by ""creepy"""

"It was so cold in D.C. today... ...that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"To impress a girl on a 1st date, rent a Ferrari. Then drive it off a bridge & try to save her. If you can't, whatever, you drove a Ferrari."

"Start a mathematical hip-hop duo called ""E"" Because E equals MC^2"

"This orgy would be a lot more fun if the people would loosen up and quit calling it an ""elevator""."

"Two satellites decide to get married. The wedding wasn't ""all that,"" but the reception was great!"

"Q: What did the painter say to the wall? A: One more crack, and I'll plaster you."

"I'm not gay I just have a dick fetish."

"If you are Russian when you go in the bathroom and Finnish when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? European (your a peeing)"