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Joke of the Day

"i saw this homeless guy talking to himself and i was like, ""who is he talking to?"" then i thought ""who am I talking to?"""

"I just found that there's such a thing as a cheese shop and now I'm changing my vacation plans."

"The new iPhone 7 is just a slower, heavier, thicker, and much less attractive version of the iPhone 8."

"I was once involved in a sex ring... until my circle of friends said that things were getting awkward."

"A criminal burgles into a dormitory... He yells at one of the students: ""I'm looking for money!"" The student calmly replies: ""What a coincidence, I am too!"""

"*exercises sarcastically*"

"I'm doing a book signing at Barnes & Noble today. Nobody asked me to. It's not even my book."

"My dad caught me sniffing at my sister's underwear ...while she was still wearing it. Everyone in the funeral couldn't believe what they were seeing"

"A girl asks her boyfriend if she's put on weight recently. He says ""no!"" and then has a seizure. He goes to the doctor. Diagnostic: convulsive liar."

"Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust."