131977

Joke of the Day

"What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to? Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up."

Next Joke
 
"I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has."
"Reddit is like a box of chocolates It's the same shit over and over"
"13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing."
"Interviewer: says here you have a military background Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti"
"What does a Muslim have if they hate their god? An Allahgy"
"What's the best thing about murder? Nobody remembers the rape."
"Wife: How many women have u slept with? Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake."
"My right eye wouldn't stop weeping all day until I said BE A MAN YOU FREAK and now it's just drinking beer to hide it's feelings"
"Justin Biebers music saved my life I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off."