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Joke of the Day

"The Voice Coach Voice Coach: ""Let's start with a scale."" Student: ""Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"" Voice Coach: ""Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"""

"Have you heard of airplane skirts? They're so short, you can see the cockpit."

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"

"Well this is new. A pigeon just shit on my phone as I was texting."

"Girl told me she worked with special needs students. I asked her ""you workin hard? Or tardly workin?"". She got mad."

"What do you call martial arts for cows? Mooey Thai."

"This day in history. 1924. Franz Kafka died after a surrealistically charged life which should have its own adjective. Kafkastic? Kafkable?"

"Never under estimate the value of stretching...the truth."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding."