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Joke of the Day

"ME: I'll sleep on it. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Ok. ME: So wrap it up. I'd like to sleep on it tonight. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Oh, you want the... ok."

"Million dollar idea: make $100,000 ten times"

"What did the guy with 5 penises say? ""These pants fit like a glove"""

"Why did the ""upright man"", a humanoid species, went extinct 70.000 years ago? Because they got homo e-rekt-us."

"I asked my girlfriend if she'd like a day of eating ice cream and hanging with her girl friends. She said ""Yes!"". I said ""Good, because I'm breaking up with you."""

"Why are gays never really supressed? Cuz they always stick it to the man!"

"Bought the 'Sounds of the Rainforest' cd, not as relaxing as I hoped. The 1st half was birds chirping, rest was chainsaws and bulldozers"

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anybody can roast beef, but it takes a special skill to pea soup."

"What made the insomniac so boring? He just wasn't into resting."

"Sex is like Math. Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don't Multiply!"