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Joke of the Day

"Just received a full body scan. Airport lady says I should probably see a doctor but is frustratingly unspecific."

"How to win the war on drugs... 1) legalize all drugs. 2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away for a while."

"I've always wondered what lice do to you It's a real head scratcher"

"I showed my family facebook a few years ago, and haven't heard from them since. Best decision ever"

"Attention Girl: Why do you look so sad? Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint?"

"What's invisible and fucks kids? The Zika virus."

"My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat."

"Rioters are destroying Baltimore. Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe."

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."