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Joke of the Day
"Nicki Minaj looks like an unlocked character that you get on the last level of Mortal Kombat."
Next Joke
"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."
"Kids should think twice about threatening to run away from home. It only fills their parents with false hope."
"""I feel like the fat kid in gym class on dodgeball day"" - The End Piece of Bread"
"Sochi is doing that thing where they manically try to clean the house 10 minutes before company arrives. But the house is Russia."
"In an English class... Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with ""I."" David: I is... Teacher: No, David. You must always say ""I am."" David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
"What is Al Qaeda's Favorite Football Team? The New York Jets."
"I shaved my legs and now my socks keep falling down. Life is hard."
"""I'm not really a big dog person."" - lying werewolf"
"What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance? ""Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"""