129737

Joke of the Day

"What did the picky cow say? Mewww."

"A good way to know if your girlfriend is a lizard is if she eats a bunch of crickets or small birds"

"I have invented a machine *that reads the subtext in different voice*"

"The car you buy should say something about you, and not just ramble on about itself like you're not even there."

"The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club? The first rule of Alzheimer's's Club, Is that you don't talk about Chess Club."

"I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures."

"What scratches the window before it explodes? A baby in a microwave"

"What's the difference between a feminist and an illegal immigrant? The illegal immigrant knows how to cook."

"What goes ""Ooooooooooo!""? A cow with no lips."

"The IBS drug commercial that mentions ""urgent diarrhea"" implies there's also a laid back, non-urgent form of diarrhea that I've never had."