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Joke of the Day

"Turns out yelling ""I can see your package through those tights!"" gets you kicked out of a ballet."

"My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors."

"Where does a dog go to buy shoes? Reebark"

"Went to a zoo that only had one dog It was a ShitZoo"

"And now for a brief trip back to the early 90's. Knock knock. Who's there? Amy Fisher *BANG!!!*"

"I got an empty fortune cookie the other day. It was unfortunate."

"""That's a wrap, everybody."" ~movie director identifying delicious food"

"Why would you want to be part of the problem when you can be the entire problem?"

"What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table"

"How can you tell when a vampire is sick? By his coffin!"