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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon? Because it was a full moon and there was no room."

"A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around."

"I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been in. Well played, Google."

"I told my wife we can have sex or go see Star Wars, she said, I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out. But she pulled some strings and got me in."

"In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking ""how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."""

"I am not the same person at 8am and 8pm."

"Fell asleep last night with the T.V. off. Was that camping?"

"Two goldfish are alone in a tank, One says to the other one, ""have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"I went shopping . . . I went to the supermarket to get some groceries. When I got to the dairy section, they only had one piece of cheese left. It was provolone."

"I would tell you my joke about necrophelia... But that would be fucking lifeless of me"