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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when women can argue with you for hours... ...but two minutes into a blowjob and their jaw hurts"

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"

"Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?"

"What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit"

"""This looks like an open and shut case!"" a police detective buying luggage."

"Him: My voice is a little hoarse. Me: You have a pony?! Him: ... Me: ... Him: ... Me: I wish I had a pony. *pouts*"

"How do 5 gay men walk? One Direction!"

"Give someone fire and they'll be warm for a day. Throw someone into fire and they'll be warm for the reat of their life."

"Need quick joke idea before I leave work My boss is requiring me to tell one funny quick joke before I leave work. I need your help Reddit!"

"There you go again, overusing big words like some kind of tweeting sesquipedalian. Idiot."