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Joke of the Day

"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear that Willy Nelson died? He was singing on the road again."
"I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him."
"What do you call a faked pregnancy? A misconception."
"The best thing about women is how they can tell you what you really mean when you say something..."
"Women call me The Gold Medal I always finish first."
"A 5-year old boy approaches his father saying, ""Dad, I know the woman I want to marry."" ""Oh yeah, who is it?"" He replies, ""Grandmaw."" ""You can't marry my mother!"" ""Why not? YOU MARRIED MINE!"""
"I am not a gay man.. And neither is my husband !"
"My wife sent me to a self-assertion course."
"how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time? Drummers."