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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what a pirates favorite letter is? ( read before down vote you may be surprised) Well you think it be the rrrrrr's, but it be the cccc's.!"

"What starts with ""c"" and ends with ""unt"" cunt."

"Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces."

"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."

"Hey, look at the bright side... oh I'm sorry, YOU don't have one of those."

"What's a necrophiliac's favorite band? Coldplay."

"FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*"

"What's long green and smells like pork scratchings? Kermit the frogs finger."

"Top 5 oxymorons: 1. Jumbo shrimp 2. Civil war 3. Virtual reality 4. Great outdoors 5. Family vacation"

"What's the one movie that Rick Astley won't let you borrow? He's never gonna give you Up."