128292

Joke of the Day

"Zebras must be tough to eat. You have to sort through all that light meat and dark meat. Props to this guy at Disney"

"Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name"

"My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... ""Here I go again on my own""."

"Deli meats I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey."

"I use my notebook the same way I use my girlfriend. Just flip'em over every period."

"[laser tag] Instructor: Dude, you're not gonna run out of ammo Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let's just agree to disagree"

"A woman at Wal-mart said she was better than me. I told her to get off her high scooter."

"What did the pro bono plastic surgeon say to their patient on Dec 31st? Happy new ears Eve!"

"Where do Arabians with cowboy hats gather? Howdy Arabia"

"Liver Doctor: You are in trouble, your liver is enlarged Patient: Does that mean I have more space for whisky now?"