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Joke of the Day
"Sorry I handed you a broom when you asked for a ride."
Next Joke
"So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork... But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were... Fruitless."
"Did you hear about the man who was to amputate a foot? They amputated the wrong one. Now they're both in a wheelchair."
"Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ? He took too long to put his boots on !"
"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."
"""Would you just look at all this bullshit?!"" - enthusiastic fertilizer suppliers"
"I was driving one day and saw a field full of scrawny cows, and thought... ... so THAT's where beef jerky comes from."
"I buy a lot of ringtones for someone who hasn't answered a phone call since 2008."
"What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? The Wall was their last big hit. (ripped off a dark jokes thread a while back)"
"Cat burglar: Quietly steals all your valuables Dog burglar: Eats your ham, sleeps in bed with you for awhile, wakes you up to go out at 3am"