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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants, and a dirty bus stop? One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean!"

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"You know you live in a small town when.... ....the only hooker is still a virgin."
"Why are gay people so fashionable? Because they spend so long in the closet."
"*sits 27 hours for an oil on canvas portrait* omg delete that. Bartholomew i'm serious do not fucking hang that in the Great Hall"
"Most of my family has diarrhea it runs in our jeans"
"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."
"Do you know how to disappoint a fellow redditor? [deleted]"
"What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork."
"Why did Jim Morrison overdose on drugs? To get to the other side."
"Why do lesbians shop at Dunham's? Because they don't like Dick's."