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Joke of the Day

"Whats Black White and Red allover Detroit in winter"

"Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport."

"I tried telling my friend from down south how becoming blood brothers works. He couldn't understand the concept because they were all related already."

"If history has taught me anything, it's that the person with the loudest, wettest cough will always sit down beside me in a waiting room."

"What did the cat say when I shut him in the refridgerator? I don't know, I couldn't hear him through the door."

"If you're a couple who sit on the same side of the booth, I'mma slide into the empty seat and eat your fries. Stop creeping everyone out."

"[interrogation] ""How do u kno the deceased?"" I was his drug dealer. ""Louder for the tape?"" [leans in] I was his rug feeler. Tested his rugs."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?... None, they can't change anything."

"How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff? Tell them it will ""cleanse toxins."""

"There needs to be a universal hand signal to let people know they still have their blinker on. Mouthing ""you're dead asshole"" isn't working."