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Joke of the Day

"[in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. righty-tighty, lefty-loosey her: what? me: what?"

"I always mean what I say. Sometimes, I didn't mean to say it out loud."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road murdered the chicken's family."

"Why did the semen cross the road... ....because I put the wrong sock on today"

"Fighting childhood obesity.... ....is as easy as taking candy from a baby."

"Whats worse than eating 10 oysters out of your girlfriends vagina? Realising you only put 9 in"

"The fact that we don't use towels to dry towels makes me question the value of towels."

"Recursion is a curious concept because it can refer to sentences, such as this one, that refer to curious concepts."

"Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill."

"I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn't you come to my house - you could have had some of ours for free!"