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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Muslim cross the road? I said to my self as I floored the accelerator. Although I guess he did get to the other side."

"264 students died in a school fire... in Beijing earlier today. The most tragic thing was they all got out safely, ran around the building, and then ran back inside."

"I always think of doing things for charity. Then, I get back from making a sandwich and I see there are 43 new tweets. Sorry, starving kids!"

"What do call a horse that lives near you? A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses)"

"[rolls down car window] ""Sir there's a baby on your roof!"" Wait, if the baby is there... [sees coffee strapped in car seat] Oh thank god!"

"Toys 'R Us pulled Breaking Bad figures because the characters sold drugs, but continue to sell Darth Vader ones, and he blew up a planet."

"Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day Set a man on fire and he is warm for a lifetime."

"What's Trumps favourite super market? Walmart."

"What do you call a book club that hasn't changed their book in a thousand years? Church"

"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."