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Joke of the Day

"I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was... ...she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose."

"Obama calls Putin Obama: ""Hey! What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?"" Putin: ""Turkey"""

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches."

"Girl are you sitting on an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing."

"Any room can be a panic room if she tells you ""we need to talk"""

"At a local restaurant, I got on one knee and she said yes. 13 years later I haven't got the balls to tell her I was just chasing a crouton."

"We all live in a yellow submarine... ...I really wish the bathroom was working right."

"What the Diffrence between Chinese and Mexican food? Chinese food comes out in about 15-20 minutes and Mexican food comes outta you in about 15-20 minutes."

"I was walking past a chemist when... I got hit with a bottle of omega-3. Its ok I only suffered super-fish-oil injuries."

"What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep? ""I herd that!"""