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Joke of the Day
"No cop can catch a kid on a 10 speed. -every 80s movie with cops chasing kids on 10 speeds."
Next Joke
"If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so fucked."
"God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don't have money. That makes God super mad."
"Doctor: ""I'm afraid you have Alzheimer's AND you have Lupus..."" Patient: ""...well at least I don't have Lupus."""
"One time I shot a gun... And the gun died!"
"[watching porn] This is crazy! He delivered that pizza like half an hour ago. *cups hands over mouth* IT'S GETTING COLD! IT'S GETTING COLD!"
"Your hands aren't tied down when you're at the dentist, you're allowed to put your hands in his mouth too."
"Why do white girls go out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."
"You would think that you would be a better pastry chef With all the creampie videos I watch..."
"i heard they were giving away batteries down the local discount store turns out they were free of charge."