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Joke of the Day

"In the future I will replace my feet with chainsaws after accidentally cutting them off with my chainsaw hands."

"I always wear a wet suit and goggles to the pub so I don't look like an idiot when I wake up on the beach in the morning."

"They say 1 glass of wine a day is good for your heart. But what about 7 glasses of wine once a week? I'll let you know how that works out."

"Knock! Knock....."

"You know how I found out I have a fruit fetish? I had an Orange Crush."

"Tourist: Is this 99 Main Street? Resident: No it's 66 but we turn it upside down to confuse people."

"Henry VIII would be glad to know that in a post-Game Of Thrones world he actually seems pretty chill"

"Eating out This one time I was eating this chick, then all the sudden I tasted horse cum. I was like, damn grandma, that's how you died."

"If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode."

"When I started telling dad jokes like my father I knew I was full groan."