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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage."

"Why do people live soda? Because it's sodalicious."

"Obviously we have our own shitty lives to worry about now but it would be fun to all move into a Twitter nursing home in 50 years."

"Noble chemistry jokes Argon walks into a bar, and the bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here."" Argon doesn't react."

"What do you call a smart blonde? A labrador"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mick Jagger Barbie ...Mick with Barbie's head...but Mick's lips"

"A man with a mirror leaves a party... ... and says ""I'll see myself out."""

"My safe word is ""keep going."" It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!"

"My son is sort of like rapunzel But instead of letting his hair down he lets everybody down."

"If there were such a thing as beavers that were small and live in people's circulatory systems, what would be their religion? Embolism."