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Joke of the Day

"I've been reading the most interesting book on the history of superglue I just can't put it down ......"

"Being a Zombie doesn't sound that bad. You don't have a job and your entire day is spent looking for things to eat. Shit, I do that now."

"Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split."

"I gave up trying to learn geometry just couldn't see the point."

"My wife accused me of being immature... So I told her to get out of my fort."

"Why do riot police get to work early? To beat the crowd"

"Why do you put a fence around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in!"

"Hey morons, when in doubt, just spell it ""theiyr're."""

"Pedophiles 2 in 3 people live next to a pedohpile. I don't. I live next to 2 smoking hot 8-year olds."

"When life gives you lemons, worship the elder Gods. Take candy from a baby. Drink from a trough of blood. Who cares? None of this matters"