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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor came pounding on my front door at 2am last night lucky for him, I was up practicing my bag pipes."

"Why was the horse farmer arrested? He was raising a colt."

"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."

"With all the negativity in the world today... ...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive."

"What crime did the tree commit to be put in tree jail? Treeson"

"When I'm bored, nobody texts me. When I'm busy, BAM! I'm the most popular person in the world."

"The interesting thing about the Royal wedding is ... ..... exactly ...."

"If you want sex... A man tells his wife in bed that if she wants sex to reach over and pull on it once. If she doesn't, reach over and pull it 100 times."

"I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."""