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Joke of the Day

"Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!"

"H G Wells walked into a library and asked for a book on Time Travel. ""Bugger off""said the librarian, ""you didn't bring it back"""

"What do you give a sick bird ? Tweetment !"

"What's the difference between a tea bag and England? A tea bag stays longer in a cup."

"Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger.... and then it hit him."

"Just put some trousers on I last wore at a wedding in 2001 and found a Nokia 3210 in the back pocket. It's still got 2 bars of battery on it."

"With the announcement of Pence as Trump's running mate, it reminds me of a man running. With a dick out in front, and an asshole behind him."

"One time I got drunk and took the bus... Now that may not sound impressive to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"A supervisor at a Tickle-Me-Elmo factory... ...instructed an employee to give the dolls 'test tickles'. The dolls were recalled for being anatomically correct."

"I don't want to criticize but whoever named them brownies wasn't trying very hard."