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Joke of the Day

"Pirate with steering wheel for belt buckle ""Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"""

"Why do elephants hate flying? The seats are too small."

"CIVIL ENGINEER: ok let's build stuff. UNCIVIL ENGINEER: *smashes popsicle stick bridge*"

"I tried to join the mile high club once But nobody gave a flying fuck."

"The only acceptable man buns... ...are the buns men are born with below the waist. #datass"

"Why was the pregnant woman screaming ""wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!""? She was having contractions."

"I hope puns are okay. If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air."

"Me: Doctor, it hurts when I go like this. Doctor: You're not doing anything. You're just sitting there being alive. Me: Exactly."

"is it rude to throw a breath mint in some ones mouth while they are talking?"

"I've recently admitted to being a masochist. The realization has been painful, but I like it."