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Joke of the Day

"Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan."

"What did the DNA say to the other DNA? ""Do these genes make me look fat?"""

"how do you know that adam and eve were white have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man"

"""Sorry I'm late"" Why are there scratches all over your face? ""Jujitsu training"" You can scratch in jujitsu? ""It's my cat's best move"""

"Never trust somebody with a degree in child psychology to cut your kid's hair. They're therapists who'll groom your children."

"Your momma is so fat.... She ate the internet"

"I wanted to throw an earth day party... But I forgot to planet"

"What's a redditors favorite Imagine Dragons song GOLD!"

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."

"A homeless guy jumps on your back... Do you carry him around or beat him off?"