200633

Joke of the Day

"""Sorry I'm late"" Why are there scratches all over your face? ""Jujitsu training"" You can scratch in jujitsu? ""It's my cat's best move"""

"I learned about being sad from my dad. He's kind of a lamentor to me."

"People ask me where I see myself in 5 years. I don't know. I don't have 2020 vision."

"*Writes ""For a good time call"" on random gas station bathroom wall *adds work phone number *Gets excited about work today"

"What did the cow say when she jumped off a cliff? ""Geronimoo!"""

"I have a Pakistani girl friend. Last night she said that she wanted to blow me. Now I wasn't sure if I should lower my pants or call the cops."

"911, what's your emergency? ""I'm masturbating too much."" Sir that's not really a problem. ""One sec. HEAR THAT MOM? NOW GET OFF MY CASE."""

"Teachers be like... That is improper grammar!"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, ""hey, you! Get off my cloud!"", and the other one says, ""hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""

"Anyone you can do, I can do better.."