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Joke of the Day

"The problem with speaking the truth is.. ..you assume others do too"

"I go to Taco Bell and throw in random adjectives to see if they notice. ""I'll have the Cheesy Double Sweaty Burrito."""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac..? He lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog..."

"I had an out-of-body-wash experience in the shower today."

"Q: What's the best pickup line to use in a gay bar? A: May I push in your stool?"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a scottish sheep herder? One says, ""hey, you! Get off my cloud!"", and the other one says, ""hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""

"Q: What is long, black and stinks? A: The unemployment line"

"132 LEGS AND 8 TEETH Q: What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? A: The front row of a Garth Brooks concert!"

"What does a vampire call a hemophiliac? Diarrhea."

"Why didn't the atheist businesswoman make any money? She didn't believe in prophets."