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Joke of the Day

"What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics? Working legs."

"I can't come into work today *cough* I'm really sick. ""Do I hear Mario Kart in the background?"" *hangs up*"

"In the 17th century, villagers would burn down entire neighborhoods to combat diseases such as bubonic plague, typhus, and gluten."

"Shout out to all hoarders, sleeping on piles of cats and whatnot."

"Desperate Need of Good Jokes Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up. Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))"

"Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens."

"Baby you are like a white dwarf star.... Extremely hot but not very bright"

"""They are more afraid of you than you are of them."" -people who know even less about me than they do about bears"

"Trix are for kids. calling your penis trix because trix are for kids. wait no ( ._.)?"

"Me: Can I have a quickie? Waitress: Sir, it's pronounced ""quiche""."