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Joke of the Day

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"What's worse than peaking in high school? Climaxing to middle schoolers."

"You can idolize anything... You just have to put your mind into it."

"You're so poor... Ethiopians donate to you."

"Walk up to the guy with a popped collar and spiked hair & say ""What's up, Chad?"" & he'll be all ""Whoa... How'd you know my name, bro?"""

"The people at Netflix are geniuses. I'm impressed that they were able to make a show based on a swimming pool game! I wonder what they'll try next."

"What do you call a humor site with bad ads? PunHub."

"Had to stop watching Game of Thrones with my parents tonight, because of all the sex. So I've recorded it to watch after they've finished."

"Bees aren't disappearing. Trump has been secretly deporting them because he thinks pollination is a hoax created by the Chinese."

"I installed a mirror in front of my toilet so that when I run out of things to read I will have someone to talk to."