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Joke of the Day

"When the Paris attacks occured, did anyone think to call Ja Rule for some answers?"

"If you ever go skydiving and your parachute doesn't open don't worry You have the rest of your life to fix it"

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris."

"How many Fat Acceptance Movement activists does it take to change a light bulb? You don't need to change your bulb. Light or heavy, you are beautiful and worthy of acceptance."

"Dear phone. If you wouldn't remind me every ten seconds that my battery was low, I'd be able to finish my status upda"

"I had some good news today; a TV Station have commissioned my new show about what goes on inside a cockpit. We're filming the pilot next week."

"I didn't think my son would make a good postman. But he delivered."

"Farmers. If Farmer A sells watermelon, and Farmer B sell apples, what does Farmer C sell? Drugs."

"If Taylor Swift wasn't a famous singer, I bet she'd be crazy fucking annoying on Facebook."