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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you play a country song backwards? You house back, your wife back, your dog back, your truck back..."

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner? Lettuce, pray."

"What's Rick Ross's favorite nursery rhyme? Ring Around the Rooooozaaay."

"Why hasn't any lawyer ever been bitten by a shark? Professional courtesy."

"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"

"Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population? Cause the condom they use is ""Made in china"""

"Which song title makes an Ape heartsick? Gorilla My Dreams!"

"Dr: You have walking pneumonia. Me: That's impossible. Dr: Wha.. Me: I've never walked a day in my life."

"In space, no one can hear you scream. In cyberspace, no one can shut you up."

"""Lady In Red"" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name."