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Joke of the Day
"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAAAAAAAND EYYEEEEEEEE"
Next Joke
"[wife walks in on me showering] ""Why are you wearing swim trunks?"" No reason. [she glares at me] SO MY TEMPORARY TATTOOS DON'T COME OFF OKAY"
"What is the last sound you hear before a pussy hair hits the ground? (spitting sound)"
"Although not as effective as finger quotes, finger commas and finger periods are way fun."
"If your nose runs and your feet smell..... You're built upside-down."
"Knock Knock Joke 'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'Atch' 'Atch who?' 'Excuse you'"
"So a man comes into a bar... No wait it was a horse! So a man comes into a horse..."
"It sucks how pizza doesn't grow back."
"What is the difference between Susan Boyle and a aircondtioner? An aircondtior can be hot"
"A man named Phil realized he was gay one night.... It was very Phil-filling"