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Joke of the Day

"The most scientific pet? The lab."

"What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow."

"If dogs have taught me anything, it's that barking is a GREAT way to get rid of people you don't want to speak to. Works for me EVERY TIME."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? You give him aids"

"Yeah you nailed the audition but some other chick nailed the director so better luck next time."

"Today a preacher told me that Jesus died for me, it made feel feel horrible.... I didn't even know the poor guy was sick!"

"Two blondes are at an CD store. One is buying a DVD. Blonde 1: Oh, what's that DVD about? Blonde 2: It's how to repair household items! Blonde 1: What do you need to repair? Blonde 2: My DVD player"

"If someone doesn't stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it's totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by."

"A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong."

"What is Spiderman's perfect job? A web designer. ^^^^^sorry!"