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Joke of the Day

"This morning I found a fly on my toilet seat. ... It was pissed off."

"It's not all about the money. It's all about all shit I can buy with the money."

"Why do people say ""Cannonball"" when jumping into a pool, but no one says ""I'm jumping into a pool"" when firing a cannonball #Interesting"

"What did the dog say when he was sick. Barf! barf!"

"Justice Scalia stated that he wants to be cremated after his death Millions of women are meeting now to discuss if that's what is best for his body."

"People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses."

"Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye? Because she was seeing somebody on the side."

"Wanna feel old? Helium formed for the first time 13.8 billions years ago."

"I know repetitive noises irritate people so I'm surprised there weren't more rage-induced murders back when typewriters were being used"

"Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar."